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January 21, 2013

Wolfsie: Raw deals

Dick Wolfsie Rushville Republican

RUSHVILLE — Now that the holidays are over, all the really good bargains are starting to appear on TV, especially on the cable networks. I’m a little skeptical of some of the products, but you’d have to be crazy not to buy the NordicTrack Silver Dollar Pancake Pan, which not only makes perfect flapjacks every time, but it can also be used as a spare fly wheel for your exercise bike.

Here’s an item that seems too good to be true: an ear wax vacuum for only 9.95, plus the second one is free (we do have two ears), just pay shipping and handling. You have not heard about this? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR HEARING? If so, you definitely need one. At first, I wasn’t going to buy it, but then I saw a guy on the commercial trying to use a Q-tip in his ear and suddenly he started screaming in pain. It scared the heck out of me. I was also very impressed that the device had 16 tips with different colors for each family member. Of course, if you have a household with that many children, someone in the marriage is having a hard time hearing, “Enough, already.” Mary Ellen was annoyed that I fell for their sales pitch. She said vacuuming my ears should not be a priority when I haven’t run the Hoover under my computer desk in four years.

The Stretch Genie also looks like a great idea. For just $7.95 you get a spray that expands leather and some synthetic fibers. You put it in your shoe and it goes from a C to a D. I think someone was spraying this stuff on my report card back in grade school.

Over the years I have been very complacent about the lint in my appliances, so when I saw the Lint Lizard for sale, I was intrigued. This device easily attaches to your vacuum and then sucks the debris out of your clothes dryer vent. I rushed to order it and when I opened the package you can imagine my disappointment when it was exactly the same product as the Ear Vac. My big mistake was ordering so quickly, because when I checked the Internet the next day, I saw this testimonial: “The tubing is too stiff. It does not fit into the lint filter. The tubes fell apart. I never got out a single clump of lint. I will happily give my Lint Lizard to anyone who wants it.” Rats! I could have gotten a free one.

This past weekend, there was a swarm of bed bug products on sale. Not just for use in your own home, but also for friends’ homes, maybe when a bottle of Merlot just doesn’t seem like the right way to say “Thanks for inviting us.” There were a few choices: one called Scram and another called Bed Bug Blockade, both of which seem ominous enough, but I wondered about Bed-Mate, which sounds more like a come-on than a get-off-me.

Finally, I decided against ordering a leak preventative called Flex-Seal. In the commercial, a guy sprays an entire screen door with this goop and to demonstrate the product’s effectiveness, he floats the door in a swimming pool. I thought this was very convincing, but my wife said the whole thing was a waste of money. I think she’s right. We don’t even have a swimming pool.

 

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Columns
  • Barada: The right people in key places

    For the first time in years, this community has exceptionally good people in key places within organizations involved directly with helping make Rush County a better place in which to live!

    June 18, 2013

  • Ward: They really were the Greatest Generation

    December 7, 1941 may be the day that will live in infamy, but June 6 ,1944 surely will be the day that began the ending of the Nazi scourge in Europe.

    June 14, 2013

  • Leising: Responsible state government

    The 2013 legislative session came to an end recently with passage of our state’s next two-year budget. As other states struggle to find ways to balance their budgets, Indiana has passed an honestly balanced budget that maintains adequate reserves and still provides millions of dollars in tax relief.

    June 12, 2013

  • Barada: Gun scare is a lot of hot air

    It’s obvious that many people really believe that, somehow or other, it’s possible for the government to take their firearms away.

    June 11, 2013

  • Wolfsie: Current problem

    I’m a competitive person. For example, I obsess about how my lawn looks in comparison to others on my block. I noticed some bare spots recently, so I addressed the issue with a trip to a local nursery.

    June 7, 2013

  • Ward: Remembering our trips to the Indy 500

    Memorial Day has come and gone. The race has been run and the winner has managed to win over $2 million. The track is as closemouthed as ever about the number of spectators, but that is their business and no one else’s.

    June 6, 2013

  • Stuart: Plagiarizing my mom

    I usually get quite a few e-mails from readers around this time of year; dozens of messages, always with the same pointed, uh, point: “Make sure you write SOMETHING about your mom on Mother’s Day!!!” They’re all signed the same: “Love always, Mom.”

    June 5, 2013

  • Barada: Fashion statements come and go

    A few days ago, I was watching the first game of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals between the Indiana Pacers and the Miami Heat. Unfortunately, the Pacers lost by a single point.

    June 4, 2013

  • Wolfsie: Icy relationships

    According to the Associated Press, the biggest issue men have when hooking up with women in Iceland is not that the ladies are frigid. The men can be a little frosty themselves, but temperature is relative. The problem is that the person they meet at the Moose Antler Pub could actually be a relative.

    May 30, 2013

  • Ward: The good old days really were good

    I sort of miss the time when one could go to the grocery and get enough for a week and the cost would be only about $20 for a family of three. Gas was only 25 cents a gallon and you got your tires checked, the windshield washed, fluid levels checked and they put the gas in, not you.

    May 29, 2013