I have many “out there” dreams in my simple life. I want to job shadow Tina Fey for a day, become a sketch writer for Saturday Night Live, develop a magical machine that will suck all calories and fat out of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream ...

But there is one “out there” dream I was recently reminded of that I am extremely passionate about.

I want to kick butt and take names on the World Series of Pop Culture.

Not only do I truly feel that this television quiz show was made for me, but I think I could cause some serious damage and win some serious money. With the right teammates, of course.

Alex Trebek can keep his highfalutin “Jeopardy!” questions about world geography. The “WSOPC” is more likely to ask the name of the theme park the Griswold family trekked cross-country to attend in the first “Vacation” movie, or perhaps the name of the bar that Daisy Duke waitressed at.

These are the kinds of things that I’ve remembered since I was a kid. I dream of being asked the name every member of New Kids on the Block, so I can name them off in rapid fire succession, middle names and all. My weak spots — “Seinfeld,” “M*A*S*H,” and ‘80s rap — would hopefully be categories my teammates would be able to cover me on, but one never knows. I better study up and be one with Spongebob. Absorb, absorb, absorb.

A massive amount of movie/music/TV trivia has always stuck in my brain while practical things like math and science went in one ear and out the other. I continue to make room for my new trivia knowledge, wedging Taylor Hicks right up in there against old standbys like Johnny Cash.

I’ve been watching dedicatedly as the new season kicked off this week. Every night is nothing but brain food for my useless knowledge stronghold.

Pat Kiernan is THE perfect game show host. With his deadpan Ben Stein-like voice, serious personality and Count Chocula meets Howard Cossell hair, his vintage suits and aura scream pop culture. It is one of my ultimate goals in life to make him read back song lyrics that will make his face turn beat red. Lyrics to songs like “Baby Got Back” or “Da Butt.” Not only is it hilarious listening to such a straightlaced-looking guy speak rap lyrics, throw embarrassing words in there that have to be repeated multiple times and it’s knee-slappingly funny.

The team names and uniforms this season are also even better than last. “Carlton Banks’ Dance Academy,” “Three Guys and a Little Lazy,” and “Wocka Wocka” are my favorite, but “More Cowbell” is exceptionally genius.

So, how pop savvy are you? Here are some hard questions I’ve missed. If you’re exceptionally interested, you can e-mail me and I’ll give you the answers. And NO Googling.

1. Can you name all 10 African-American Academy Award winners in the major categories (best actor/actress, best supporting actor/actress)? (I got them all but one!)

2. What Clash album included the songs “Train in Vain” and “Lost in the Supermarket?” (I said, “I Fought the Casbah and the Casbah Won. Oh so wrong.)

3. What was Sean Penn’s character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? (I said Spumoni. What? I wanted ice cream!)

4. What is the name of the mountain Lane Meyer skied down in Better off Dead? (I said Mount Vesuvius. Who the heck is Lane Meyer?)

5. Before going solo, what brooding one-named singer was front man for the Smiths? (I had no idea. Wasn’t a fan.)

6. What band’s name appeared on Beavis’s T-shirt? (I knew it was one or the other. Both he and Butthead have band names on their shirts, and of course, I said the other one.)

7. What is the Barbie-like doll on The Simpsons? (I said Cynthia, but that’s from another cartoon.)

8. What movie in a nutshell is described here?: After hitting him with their car, a family takes Big Foot in and discovers he’s a gentle giant. (I got this one right! I just wanted to share with everyone a great memory from my childhood. I just loved Harry.)

9. What was Jerry Seinfeld’s favorite T-shirt’s name? (Little Jerry Seinfeld? I dunno. HATE Seinfeld. Sorry, Aaron Kirchoff.)

10. What was Wyatt’s brother’s name in Weird Science? (Barry? Who comes up with these questions? Little gerbils that sit in front of bad ‘80s movies all day? GEEZ!)

Good luck!



Elizabeth Gist can be contacted at elizabeth.gist@rushvillerepublican.com or at (765) 932-3111 ext. 109. Add a comment to this story at www.rushvillerepublican.com.