Stuart: Me, Corny, and his grandson's bung hole

Columns

Discussion

September 10, 2012

Stuart: Me, Corny, and his grandson's bung hole

Don Stuart Rushville Republican The Rushville Republican Mon Sep 10, 2012, 10:40 AM EDT

RUSHVILLE — Last week's column made mention of Cornelius Vanderbilt, the super-rich tycoon of the 19th century, and yesterday I happened upon a new development in my little world that gives me pause to wonder if his shade isn't haunting me just a little bit.

It has to do with my computer. I don't know if the right terminology is "wallpaper" or "desktop," but whatever that background that shows up on a computer when it boots up is called, mine has changed in a way that connects me to Corny. (I wonder if anyone ever called him "Corny"?)

My walltop/deskpaper used to be this image of the vastness of space, sort of like the cover of the book "Cosmos," the biography of the "Seinfeld" character "Kramer."

Ha! Gotcha! Just checking to see if you're awake Ñ "Cosmos" was actually written by the late Carl Sagan, the super-smart physicist guy of the 20th century. And beyond, actually, at least to the extent that one can still readily partake of his wisdom Ñ and in musical form, no less.

I'm talking about MP3s audios and YouTube videos made by a guy named John Boswell. He takes sound bites Ñ most of them pretty profound Ñ from lots of different profound-sounding guys like Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson and Bill Nye the Science Guy, and he then "auto-tunes" them Ñ which is a way of taking the words these guys spoke and making them tuneful and rhythmic, in a sort of new-age-y, space-y kind of way. Before long, voila!, you have a "song."

Boswell calls these works part of "The Symphony of Science" project, and since his first song Ñ featuring Sagan Ñ was completed in 2009, he's created billions and billions more.

Just kidding Ñ "billions and billions" is something Sagan said a lot and it's just really fun to say in a voice that mimics Sagan's. Actually, Boswell has made some fifteen "Symphony of Science" works. All of which can be downloaded for free! Which is not likely to make John Boswell ANYWHERE near as rich as Cornelius Vanderbilt.

Anyway. . .

My cosmic deskwall/papertop has been usurped, dismissed and otherwise made to disappear. The perpetrator clearly seems to be No. 5 son (age 11) whose mug is now prominently featured in that space.

He's wearing a gi-normous "I'm in the middle of a big laugh" look as he stands in front of a diagram illustrating the parts of a wine barrel or cask. His thumb is pointing directly at one of the most vital parts of this apparatus Ñ the bung hole.

I know that sounds kind of juvenile, but in his defense, he was still only 10 years old when the picture was taken.

Of course, if he's going to react this way in the future to any references to "bung hole," I am DEFINITELY not taking him with me the next time I'm wandering along High Holborn Street in London, where we might happen upon Hand Court, and the entrance to a restaurant called The Bung Hole.

So this wine cask diagram was on the wall of a winery located on the grounds of the famous Biltmore House, just outside of Asheville, North Carolina. And while you may already know this, I Ñ following the age-old rule that governs column writing: "Always explain everything, especially when you're getting paid by the word" Ñ will explain that The Biltmore was biltÑmake that, builtÑby George Washington Vanderbilt II, a grandson of Cornelius Vanderbilt.

We visited the place with my wife's sister and her husband, and after a long day of walking through the house, which is roughly as big as Delaware, the grown-ups wanted to check out the winery and taste a few of the Biltmore Wine vintages. So No. 5 son and I had to find something else to do, not being counted among the grown-ups. Ergo, we found this funny picture opportunity.

I took some other pretty funny shots at Biltmore as well, mostly of the gargoyles that festoon the mansion. Of course, I'm glad those didn't wind up as my computer's desktop, because most of them look like some of No. 5's friends, and they might get a little offended, especially by seeing him in the foreground pointing at them with his thumb and wearing a gi-normous "That's as funny as a bung hole" look.

Text Only

Columns

Stuart: Scuttling the stories of spring break cruising
I’ve been writing about my spring break cruise vacation for so long that I can’t remember writing about anything else. It makes me think of the advice that newbie writers struggling for ideas have gotten since the inventions of cave painting: write about what you know. Well, I know I like being on vacation!

May 23, 2013
Mauzy: Seniors perform final tasks at RCHS
As the parent of a 2013 high school graduate, I approach the ending of the school year in a joyous yet melancholy kind of way. Every milestone my son hit this year has come with elation attached to subdued realizations. Years of watching him burn the midnight oil while working on homework assignments and then witnessing the dedication to his sporting events will soon end. To be sure, the growth of a child is a wonderful event.

May 23, 2013
Ward: Hanging out the laundry
I remember my mother, grandmother and even up to my wife hanging the wash out on the line. The Amish still do and I now as then wonder just how things managed to get dry during the winter or rain storms?

May 21, 2013
Barada: 50 years ago and counting
My, does time fly! On June 22 next month, the Rushville High School Class of 1963 will celebrate its 50th anniversary. To be honest, 1963 doesn’t sound all that long ago, until one considers that, when we graduated in June 1963, the Class of 1913 was celebrating its 50th anniversary! Now, 1913 seemed like a long time ago when I was just 17 years old. The year 1913 was four years before the United States entered World War One.

May 21, 2013
Stuart: From zippy to zapped in Old San Juan
My family’s spring break vacation didn’t last nearly as long as it’s taking me to tell you about it in these columns. If it had, our cruise would be going into its fifth week. That would be, I don’t know, like sailing with Christopher Columbus in 1492. Imagine the weight his crews put on at their shipboard buffets; no wonder those boats traveled slow!

May 18, 2013
Ward: My early years
There are a lot of things from my youth that I treasure and would not be unhappy to have them back again. Don’t laugh, but BB Bats are one thing I loved as a child. They were a taffy like substance stuck on a stick.

May 16, 2013
Barada: Local library should be a county facility
A noble effort is underway to renovate and expand the Rushville Public Library. It will not be an easy task. What will help, in my opinion, will be finally making the public library a county library.

May 14, 2013
Stuart: Snorkeling fun, in and out of the water
As I continue to relive my spring break vacation in these pages (we’re only a couple of days into it so far - this could last well into the autumn!), I’ll reveal the biggest shock my kids received on our Carnival Cruise. It was 7:30 on a sunny Tuesday morning, when I woke them and said we’d arrived in Charlotte

May 11, 2013
Ziemke: Back home again in Batesville
Following the hustle and bustle of Indianapolis, I must say that it has been nice to be home this past week. Session is an exciting process to be a part of, but for now, I am just going to enjoy the fact that I can be at my restaurant more often to talk to the folks I represent at the Statehouse.

May 10, 2013
Wolfsie: Bird calls
One afternoon in 2011, my friend Eric spent a couple of hours over lunch explaining Twitter to me and I thought I understood it all, but as you’ll see from my first few tweets, I wasn’t very confident:

May 9, 2013
More Columns Headlines

Columns

Search Results

Discussion

Stuart: Me, Corny, and his grandson's bung hole

Site Map

Contact Us