I was really pleased a couple of days ago when I received the latest circular from Walmart. Until then, I hadn’t realized that I could buy my necessary assault weapons from the friendly store that is most famous for being the major outlet for goods from China.
As is the case with most homeowners, I need to maintain a large assortment of assault weapons in my home in the event the need arises to overthrow a government, foreign or domestic. They are also often necessary to fight off attacks by rabbits, squirrels, white-tail deer, raccoons and so forth. Be aware that this can happen at any time.
Now I can rest easy. Right there in the Walmart hunting needs circular were featured two beauties, the Sig Sauer SIGM400 and the Colt Carbine AR15. You’ll be as pleased as I was to learn that both of these assault rifles fire the ever-popular 5.56 NATO ammunition, making it easy to stock up on ammo. Both are finished off in black, which gives them an even nicer and more ominous and threatening appearance.
The Sig Sauer has a collapsible stock, which really comes in handy when you are robbing a bank, as it is much easier to conceal under any stylish jacket. It also comes with a 30-round magazine, in the event that serious opposition is encountered.
The ad fails to mention whether or not these splendid assault rifles are “Made in China,” but I’ll try to find out, as those Chinese make lots of good stuff.
Now there may be sad news for Rush County residents who are in immediate need of more assault weapons. The Rushville Walmart is possibly the tiniest Walmart in existence--a situation worsened since they are trying to cram a grocery and liquor store into what was already a small, cramped building. They may not have room for a nice display of assault weapons. I expect the “big” Walmarts in Greensburg, Shelbyville and other towns around can fill your needs.
Oh, I forgot to mention: Walmart headed the page listing the assault rifles thusly:
“All the hunting gear you’ll need, priced just right.”
So, happy hunting--and let me know what game you bag with your dandy new assault rifle. Try not to fire off all 30 rounds--it almost ruins the meat.
And if you have an opinion, pro or con, write me at email@example.com.
Resident of Rush County; native of Decatur County
Mauzy: Seniors perform final tasks at RCHS
As the parent of a 2013 high school graduate, I approach the ending of the school year in a joyous yet melancholy kind of way. Every milestone my son hit this year has come with elation attached to subdued realizations. Years of watching him burn the midnight oil while working on homework assignments and then witnessing the dedication to his sporting events will soon end. To be sure, the growth of a child is a wonderful event.
Library should be county-wide
I read with interest Paul Barada’s column proposing that the Rushville Library should become a county facility.
Way back in 1990, shortly after I became publisher of the Rushville Republican, I approached the director of the library, informing her that I wished to put the entire resources of the local newspaper behind a drive to convert the city library to a county library.
Our View: Seizure of AP phone records insult to independent press
Distrust of government secrecy has been elevated to an exceptional level with the disclosure the Justice Department covertly examined two months of Associated Press phone records to determine who leaked details to the AP about a foiled terrorist plot.
Barada: 50 years ago and counting
My, does time fly! On June 22 next month, the Rushville High School Class of 1963 will celebrate its 50th anniversary. To be honest, 1963 doesn’t sound all that long ago, until one considers that, when we graduated in June 1963, the Class of 1913 was celebrating its 50th anniversary! Now, 1913 seemed like a long time ago when I was just 17 years old. The year 1913 was four years before the United States entered World War One.
Barada: Local library should be a county facility
A noble effort is underway to renovate and expand the Rushville Public Library. It will not be an easy task. What will help, in my opinion, will be finally making the public library a county library.
Ziemke: Back home again in Batesville
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Mauzy: Weddings paint a larger picture of life
The marriage of my oldest daughter was this past weekend. With great fortune, weather remained wonderful for the outside venue. More than a stroke of good luck concerning the weather, the calm and positive energies of everyone in attendance would have overcome any adversity.
Messer: Have we learned the lessons of 9/11?
September 11 was a devastating wake up call for every American. The events of that terrible day taught us that we are at war with violent Islamist extremists. If we let them, these jihadists are committed to exploiting our generosity and legal protections to further their murderous mania. The 9/11 Commission which investigated that tragedy concluded warning signs were everywhere, noting that “the system was blinking red.”
Barada: 150th anniversary of the American Civil War beckons travellers this summer
Since we’re in the middle of the 150th anniversary of the American Civil War; and based on the presumption that you’re interested in it at all, it’s just about time to start planning a trip to one of the two sites that marked the turning point in that conflict – Gettysburg, Pa., and Vicksburg, Miss.
Zeta Tau Run for the Arts in Milroy
ZThe Zeta Taus would like to invite the community to join them in several activities in and around Milroy on Saturday, May 11. The annual Run for the Arts begins at 7:30 a.m. for runners and 8 a.m. for walkers. This event starts and ends at Milroy United Methodist Church parking lot. The cost to participate is $15 for adults and $10 for children. In
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